Meh I'm bored I need a new set of goals now that my degree is almost over. I know what my goals are but I need to sit and but them in order. I need to stick with one and not have a million other goals biting at the bit to get out. I shall keep those goals too but I need to get the main one out the way first. Yeah that’s what I will do. My new phrase and mantra I am repeating over to myself is ‘hello world.’ appropriate I feel. End of degree start of career.
The pub. Now there is a social space of intrigue if ever there was one.
Now getting more to the point, the pub at lunch time. This is nothing bad. Nope. Having a little drink whilst enjoying a hearty pub lunch is acceptable. On the other hand, the pub at lunch time with no food is slightly edging on wrong, and if it isn’t edging on it, then it’s certainly toying with it. Haha. So where am I going with this thought? Well it was decided that we should have a night in with some home cooked food and a glass or two of wine. This was Saturday night. I was working in the cinema from 11am till 7pm then I headed over to Alice’s for dinner and a chance not to think about our degree show. It was good.
We sat, we drank and we ate. Slowly the people were filtered down to only 4, some of those were less present than others hehe there is an excuse though Gin, whisky and wine. All amazing drinks when sampled alone. Not when drunk one after the other in copious amounts with the novelty of slushy ice. I ended up rather drunk and headed home for about 4am. I saw a fox, a mouse and a drunk pigeon along the way. Hehe
I was up for work the next day at 8am for an hour which I was surprisingly awake for. I was only there for an hour and then I went home and met a friend. I then had to go back into work for a 6pm till 10pm shift. This was last night. I got a txt asking what I was up to as a few friends from back home were off out the the big G. I was already walking home by this point. But I am such a pushover and I decide “yeah... Maybe it is a good idea.” so I get dressed out of my uniform and head out. We drank and we danced and had the most random of times. My two friends ended up having a falling out and walked the streets of Glasgow until the first train at 5.55am. I ended up talking away with a jeweller from up north. The next morning after a few hours sleep we have a quick vodka and coke and then head to the pub. That was this morning. I have now had a few moments of stolen sleep since then and am writing this. This is where my dilemma exists. This is all ok when defined as a student. These things happen, but when it comes to being a final year student and only having two weeks today to get everything finished it becomes a dilemma. Haha. Its all a tad funny though, and I'm off to work again in an hour. I'm working 6pm till 12.30am plently of time to muse over these thoughts.
I need to get going I have about a thousand things to do and I'm delaying in doing them. I have now applied for the Business Boot Camp 08 opportunity and I have messed about with the autonomy layout. Check it out at www.garybolam.co.uk/theautonomy/sept08.htm I will have a fantastic thing going on there in September 2008.
So having mentioned that I have to get this degree out of the way first. Ohh and the washing machine... Gerr the washing machine. I thought that I had fixed it but turns out it now works up until a point then the little dial just keeps clicking around. Ger... So that needs sorted again.
Right! I am going to go to woodwork and make a plinth out of my desk haha! Then I have a tutorial with Sue at 3.20 which I might add I haven't really got anything to show. Humm... I know more what my degree show will be but I have begun conceptualising my practice... Bad thing to do. But interesting all the same.
So I'm off... Catch you later.
Humm... I know I shall soon be commencing the queue on the ladder that is the career ladder. I shall of course want to make my own... And I will make my own. I think how ever that my rent is due and I have bills to pay which I'm unsure that the ladder I create can sustain at first. So my thinking is I have two ladders one for myself and that I create and care for, the one my eye falls naturally towards and the other, the other shall be. at first, the ladder to the table. This ladder shall let me eat and enjoy the things that can only be acquired by use on that thing they call money. It of course will aid me in the creation and refinement of my own homely ladder.
Ladders have snakes though, but they wont put me off and for every snake I encounter I shall inevitably go beyond that in the future.
So I'm starting to look forward to letting it all commence and I am of course still unfocused but I’m working on that. The structure is becoming bolder now I need to work on the plan of action.
I am in the mindset of needing things.
I need a job.
I need to do uni work.
I need to get everything sorted for graduation.
I need to not feel like a teabag... I don’t know haha!
Yeah so today I shall avoid everything and go get a beer and a pizza. Or just head on round and watch a DVD with a friend. I think I'm on a bit of a downer right now about cine again. I sat through 5 or 6 hours of training and booklet filling in. Every point raised made me detest the company ethics even more. Up-selling. Yeah I get the idea and sure it is offering a service to customers...nothing wrong with that. However don’t take your miss spent money into the equation and don’t try and threaten my job even if it is in a roundabout way. Any point raised with management will inevitably be diluted and forgotten about unless it hasn’t been fobbed off with the usual “...that’s a head office decision.” or “blah blah head office blah I cant be bothered dealing with it blah blah...” Gerr... Cine.
On another note I am actually enjoying the flat a bit now. It is clean. The sun is shining through the windows and I have a fresh load of washing hanging up. Aww summer times are coming closer.
Router, Band Saw, other woodworking tools, iPhone, a studio outside of art school, free rent, a decent kitchen to cook in, the ability to verbalise the thoughts and intent whilst making art work, a finalised idea for degree show... The list continues.
www.garybolam.co.uk has had minor updates check it out!
I really want to start writing about people and drawing them.
I was sitting thinking this on the subway train this morning. It's so interesting watching the people around you travel in the same train. They all have their ways of avoiding eye contact from one another. Of course they ultimately try and distract themselves from the situation to connect back into their own world with their own familiarity.
There was this guy the other week. Looked like any other person you might have seen sitting on the subway. Middle aged, not scruffy more semi-smart and with the same avoidance of eye contact that everyone else has when travelling on the subway. There was a moment though as my eye scanned around the train that I caught him taking a half bottle of vodka out of his inner jacket pocket and take more than a small mouthful of this vodka neat.
I then went off on a tangent of thought whilst watching this unfold. I wondered if he had children or what his life story was. why did he feel the need to be drinking at midday during the week. I looked at the people to either side of him. both of which never noticed or more they didn't care to pay attention. What a crazy scene. I guess it is going back to the main point of this piece of writing, that we all try to distract ourselves from the engagement of a strangers contact in public space. Perhaps it is the venerability we feel whilst isolated from our familiarity. Perhaps it is ignorance.
So this is somewhere as to the why I want to start drawing and writing about people on the subway. They all have their own story to tell and I like thinking about what that might be. Their awkward engagement is also exciting. How someone sits as that drunk guy staggers through the door just moments prior to the beep. How that child's screams cause even the polite travellers face to contort.
Yeah I'm going to start keeping my notepad close to hand whilst on the train. It's a promise.
It’s mad. I’m seriously soooooo tired and I need to do so much tomorrow but I'm still awake and its 4.11am. My eyes are stinging and I've got that sleepy head nod thing but I aint sleeping. Oh nope. I am instead messing around with blogs and phones and sending images and yadda yadda. Humm... Playing some funky moosic though. Yellowcard.
You. Go. get. Then Listen.
A boy holds his head high with ambition and excitement towards the night sky. The stars sit there one by one too many to count and too few to light the way fully. They hold the secrets of times gone past. We are always looking at them in the past and they are always in the future. They exist in a different time to us. We should take note of the vast sky and place our biggest problems along side. Our problems would amount to nothing but the smallest speck of light within that vast sky.
So today I have started looking to the sky and yeah you know what... My life is good. I may have just encountered the end of a relationship but I have succeeded in finding out more about myself. He was a pretty special kind of guy and I still admire his strengths. So today I shall eat and I shall drink and I shall indeed be merry. For today, it is the beginning of something a little bit new and of course a little bit scary.
Running with my eyes wide open. Smiling.