Clear out

So I'm in the process of clearing out my room... I have everything I own in this room. I want to sell it all. I want a fresh start a new me a new progression with the same dreams but different goals. A new outlook. I want to be creative and be respected and paid for it. I will be paid for something I love doing. I make plans and I create dreams.

It was the 7th anniversary of my kidney transplant on the 11th of July. It was my graduation on the 20th June. It’ll be my 24th birthday in October and I need to move out of this flat on the 11th Aug. These dates are all important but I feel stuck in them. I feel stuck in time or something like that. I hate having to be constrained. I hate money.

I take 9 tablets every day. I will take tablets every day for the rest of my life. I take some comfort in the routine but feel disheartened by the constraint, not to mention the ‘what ifs?’ humm... I am in a bit of a wondering mind which is totally why I need this clear out.

I have too many things and I want to get rid of them to the best I can. I have a lot of materials. I have a stack of paper higher than myself and a stack of books even higher. I own pens of all varieties in all colours. I own sculpting materials, several cameras both still and video, analogue and digital. I have two DVD players identical to each other. I own an impressive collection of bags of differing design. I also have a mountain of washing that seems endless.

I need to have a few choice things. I want a file full of artworks and documents. A store of paper and inks with which I can easily find what I'm looking for and create publications with ease. I want a bookcase full of inspiration. A wall of photographs and an amazing camera to take them with. A portable life. Most of all I want the journey through my comfort zone. I want to know where I begin and where I end. How hot is too hot and how random is too random?

The world is waiting for me I just need to clear a path. Yes. That is what I shall do. I am going on an adventure along the path I clear. Want to come and join me?

G